“I did this wrong! badly! I’ll never get this right! Or, conversely, I know I AM right!
Ask yourself, “What IS right?” “What IS wrong?” “What IS good or bad?”
Truly it’s all just IS.
Sounds a bit “Zen”. It is. And the dirty little secret is, “It’s ALL just “is”.”
Judgments are your inner voice trying to make sense of what happened. They are your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe. But what is good one time may not be so great the next.
Judging “what is” as good or bad limits you to a single course of action. Judgment denies you the flexibility to do what is appropriate. In the end, judging does nothing to support you in improving. It only serves to burden you with guilt, or worse – a need to delve into the story of why. In the end – WHO CARES?
Non-judgment means putting down your stories, stripping away the labels of good and bad, and releasing blame to focus on yourself, your actions and the goals you set for yourself. It means stepping into the flow of doing what is appropriate for what you are doing right now.
That’s not to say you should give up your moral compass, or assume an attitude of the end justifying the means, or achieve at any cost. Those are only short term solutions that lead to unsustainable change and complications down the road.
True change for the better, the kind that results in the reward of accomplishment is born of acceptance of what is.
How will you cast aside your judgements? Imagine yourself as a neutral observer simply noting, “First this happened, then this, then that…” Notice what happens when you drop the good or bad and focus on just the observable facts.
Suddenly, you’ve got something to work with!